Funny Out-of-Office E-mail Messages - Vol 1

For all working professionals, ‘out of office’ is a very familiar expression used frequently by those who seldom stay in office and occasionally by the rest who want to check whether the functionality really works. For those who aren’t familiar with the expression, out of office messages are emails that you can create which auto-reply to anyone who sends you an email while you're away.  Whether you are out for an extended period of time or just out on lunch, people use the out of office functionality for a variety of reasons.

Regardless of when and how you use out of office messages, it's always unconventional and boring to leave the typical "I'm out of the office and returning tomorrow. Please contact my colleague XYZ if urgent." This type of professionalism now needs to come to an end after years of using the same boring strap-line over and over again. Start telling people what you really want to tell them while you're away. 

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you as soon as I get back
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. I am on paid leave right now for two weeks. When I get back, I will be on paid return. Upon completing my one week of paid return, I will address any issues or questions you have at a pace I am comfortable with. This is most likely a pace that you will not be comfortable with.
4. I will be out of the office and returning next week. I have incredibly easy access to a phone and email, but I assure you, it will not be used for work purposes.
5. I'm out of the office. If you have immediate questions or concerns, please contact my manager [insert name here]. If your questions or concerns are not immediate, you might want to ask yourself why you emailed me.
6. I will be away from work for one week while training. When I return, don't expect any improvement.
7. I am out of the office at the moment. Unfortunately, I'm returning tomorrow.
8. I am currently interviewing for a new job. Upon my return, I hope to give my two weeks notice and never respond to your email.
9. I am away from the office at this moment. I will still be away from the office at the next moment and returning at a later moment.  If you have any issues at the current moment, and they cannot wait until a later moment, please contact my manager, who may actually be away at the moment.
10. I am away from the office on work. If there is an emergency, please call 100.